What is coaching, anyway? An in-depth look at What coaches do and How coaches help
There’s a lot of buzz out there about coaching.
As the saying goes, where there’s smoke, there’s fire - and it seems the coaching industry is on fire right now; everywhere you look there’s someone talking about coaching.
The first thing to note is that coaching is not a regulated industry. Anyone can create a website and call themselves a coach.
While that is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s also not a good thing for two reasons:
One: unqualified, untrained coaches often don’t know what true coaching is or how to do it, and, while not everyone lacks integrity, many unqualified coaches could potentially cause more harm than good if they don’t have the correct skills and knowledge, or adhere to professional standards or a code of ethics
Two:coaching remains somewhat of a mystery to many, can be difficult to define clearly, and there are so many different approaches that, as a client looking for help, may make it harder for you to figure out exactly how a coach can help you.
I hope I can help to clear things up.
How do we define coaching?
(note: The following 3 paragraphs - italicized and in quotation marks - are copied directly from the ICF website)
“The International Coaching Federation (ICF) is the leading global organization for coaches and coaching. ICF is dedicated to advancing the coaching profession by setting high standards, providing independent certification and building a worldwide network of trained coaching professionals.
ICF defines coaching as: partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.
We all have goals we want to reach, challenges we’re striving to overcome and times when we feel stuck. Partnering with a coach can change your life, setting you on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment.”
Now, let me ask you - what does this tell you about coaching?
Do you understand what it is? How it works? How it benefits you?
My guess is - yes and no. For those of us immersed in the coaching world, it makes total sense. But, from my perspective as a coach who has conversations with lots of different people, for those outside the coaching world, there’s still a lot of confusion, and, if I'm really honest, it can be hard to explain in one or two sentences.
Coaching is an experience - one I highly recommend, but it gets wrapped up with other things: teaching, mentoring, consulting, and counseling/therapy.
So let’s take a look at each of those things in an effort to first define what coaching is NOT before we dig more into what coaching IS.
Coaching is not Teaching
Teaching may be defined as the transfer of knowledge from one person to another; in simple terms, we can define this as showing or telling people what to do and how to do it.
This is what I know, I will teach it to you
Teaching in the context of health and wellness, may include things like how to read nutrition labels, how to understand calories and portion sizes, how to plan meals, what types of workouts to do, etc.
Teaching in the context of business may include things like how to create a business plan, a marketing plan, the steps to take to set up a business online, dealing with contracts, setting up payments etc.
Coaching in addition to teaching would be helping the client to actually do these things. This can include mindset work, or working with behaviours to build healthy habits.
In essence, it's not the HOW, it's the process of making change, overcoming obstacles and seeing things through until you reach your goals.
Coaching is not Mentoring
Mentoring can be defined as a relationship between a mentor and a mentee or apprentice. The mentor is someone with more experience who can teach and offer guidance, influence or direction to someone with less experience; often that person is younger.
This is how I did it, what I know and what I learned, I can help you do it too
In the corporate world, a mentor is often someone in a senior position who helps someone in a junior position to advance in their career within a company; in the education system, a mentor often plays an advisory role for the student.
Mentorship works as a relationship, with the mentor having influence over the professional development of the mentee. We could describe this as leading the way or showing how the mentor achieved their success, which includes teaching, giving advice and guidance based on the mentor’s experience.
Coaching, used in tandem with mentoring, is a more objective approach. The coach does NOT give advice, guidance or direction; rather, a coach helps the client explore their opportunities, challenges from an objective point of view.
The coach is not personally impacted by any decisions the mentee makes, and has no attachment to any outcomes; their role is to support the client, not the mentor. This can help the client see things from a wider perspective and make their own choices without being influenced one way or the other by their mentor.
Coaching is not counseling
There is a big overlap between coaching and counseling, as many of the skills and techniques are used by both coaches and counselors. So how do we know which one to choose?
Often, we separate coaching from counseling by stating that counseling is past focused vs future focused - but that is not always true, as not all counseling is past focused.
One of the clearest statements I’ve heard to help understand the difference is that coaching is focused on action, whereas counseling is focused on coping.
You’re struggling; I can help you cope
From the lens of coping, we can consider counseling as a space to manage more challenging issues related to mental health and wellness such as anxiety, depression, and dealing with past trauma.
Counselors are trained in areas such as human development, sexuality, and family dynamics, and are able to determine if someone is dealing with a clinically defined mental health issue. They can help with things such as abuse, grief, eating disorders, PTSD etc. If you’re struggling to cope with something in your life, counseling may be the best first step for you.
Professionally trained coaches do not operate outside their scope of practice; they are trained to know when to refer a client to counseling /therapy.
Coaching is not consulting
Are you starting to see a pattern here?
If we define consulting as giving expert advice from a business perspective, then we know that we are definitely not coaching!
Coaching can be used alongside teaching, mentoring, consulting and counseling
As for all of the above - teaching, mentoring, consulting and counseling, coaching may be used in tandem with each, but it must be made clear by the coach when they are teaching, mentoring, or consulting and when they are coaching.
So - what exactly IS coaching?
Now that we have cleared up what coaching is not, let’s define what it is.
Coaching is a partnership between a client and a coach - the coach is not more ‘senior’ to or in a higher position than the client - there is no hierarchy.
The coach works to coach the client - not the circumstance, the situation, the issue or the problem - the client.
The client is regarded as being capable and resourceful - meaning, that the client has the ability to come up with their own answers and solutions with the support of the coach.
It’s important to understand that coaching is client-led: the client decides the goals and the coach works with the client to help the client create an action plan and supports and keeps them accountable as they implement it.
Coaches are trained to do two things well: to ask thought provoking questions and to listen, without judgment.
The coach must be completely neutral, open and objective. The coach is working for the client, and therefore must show up with a clean mind - a mind that has no agenda, no ‘opinions’, no ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’ or pre-determined agendas.
Coaches use the term ‘holding space’ for clients in a coaching session. This means that the coach is present not only physically, but mentally and emotionally, for the client.
Yes, this description feels intangible.
Yet, there is great power in being fully present in the moment with someone who is fully focused on you, without distraction, judgment or opinions.
The conversation that flows from coach questions to client answers helps the client explore and go deeper into self awareness.
It’s truly amazing what you can discover about yourself when you have the space to do so!
What happens in a coaching relationship?
A coach and client will agree to work together for a period of time. This can be anywhere from a few sessions, a few months, or a year or longer.
I recommend booking a consultation to discuss your goals for coaching, so that the coach can recommend the best timeframe to start with.
Next, once you’ve had a consultation, talked through your expectations and gotten the information you need, and agreed your time frame and price, the coach will email you a contract and an invoice to pay for your coaching package.
Some coaches will include forms, surveys, questionnaires or other assessments prior to your first session.
Often, a first session will focus on overall goal setting, with a view to creating a plan of action and the first small step goals. Subsequent sessions take place weekly to work through the action plan, review goals, and work through obstacles and challenges.
Sessions can vary from 30-90 minutes and will take place over the phone or via a program like zoom; some coaches may also see clients in person.
How does the process of coaching help you?
At its foundational level, coaching is a conversation - the coach asks questions, the client answers.
But it’s not the same as the type of conversation you have with your best friends over drinks.
A coach:
Has an established process that gets you results
Is an expert in their area of coaching
Understands you and your experience
Shows up to work with you every week, to help you work through your challenges and achieve your goals
Holds space for you, by being fully focused on you, not distracted, fully engaged in listening, objective and non-judgmental
Knows how to motivate, support, and hold you accountable so you take action to achieve what you set out to do
Keeps your discussions confidential
Has the skills to see what you can’t see - they see your blind spots and help you develop awareness of these to help you overcome them
Will make observations to show you the truth, so that you can grow
Acknowledges your successes and growth
Has a toolbox of techniques, tips and strategies to help you grow and succeed
Helps you get results faster
Helps you feel empowered
And my personal favorite ? A coach is there to believe in you until you can fully believe in yourself.
If you’re struggling with fear, self doubt, lack of confidence, or any other negative emotions that hold you back, a coach is there to hold that belief as you grow into courage, confidence, self-belief and the fully empowered, amazing self that you are!
And that, over everything, is the one main reason why you should hire a coach.
Curious about coaching? Interested in hiring a coach but have more questions?
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